


Nobody Said It Was Easy (Barisi)

by XXBackseatSerenadeXX



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Fluff, Highschool AU, I'm gonna regret writing this, M/M, Minor Nick/Mike, Minor Olivia/Amanda, Self Harm, feels warning, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 19:06:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XXBackseatSerenadeXX/pseuds/XXBackseatSerenadeXX
Summary: Okay, and we're back to Barisi. Today, we have another Highschool AU. So... Sonny, Oliva, Amanda, Fin, Nick, and Mike are juniors in Highschool. The six of them grew up together and they do everything together. Sonny is gay, Liv and Amanda are lesbian and they're a couple, Mike is bisexual, Nick is pansexual, and they're dating. Fin is the only straight one. Now, you might be thinking that Sonny is bullied for being gay. Nope! It's part of it but, it's not the biggest part. He's bullied because he has a crush on Rafael Barba, the star athlete. Other kids at school constantly pick on Sonny, which leads to him self harming and tryng to take his own life. What happens next? You'll have to read to find out.





	Nobody Said It Was Easy (Barisi)

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't throw spears and things at me. I'm sorry! This is going to be really depressing but, I had an idea and I had to go with it. Lyrics are from The Scientist by Coldplay. This song is very sad and I'm probably going to cry while writing this.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are

Sonny sighed as the razor slid over his arm. He knew it wasn't good to do this. But, he couldn't help it. Everywhere he went he heard the whispers. Heard people laughing, and gossiping. Nobody cares that he's gay. Oh no, it was because of who he liked. Rafael Barba, the star athlete. Everyone wanted to be him or date him. But, he was just way out of Sonny's league. If it had been anyone else, he would be fine. It had to be Rafael, who was untouchable as he was attractive. He had to tell someone, he knew that. And so, he told his friends the next day. About the bullying, that is. He also mentioned that he had been feeling depressed. He didn't say anything about self harming, he didn't want them to freak out....more. They were already going to freak out as it was.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I had to find you  
Tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart

His friends weren't sure what to say when the discovered that he was suffering from depression. They didn't even know that he was bullied, he had hidden from them. After he told them, everyone was worried. Olivia had hugged him tightly, like a mother comforting a small child. "Oh Dominick, why didn't you tell anyone?" "Yeah..why didn't you say something, Dom?" Mike asked. Everyone was asking him questions and giving him assurances all at once. Sonny sighed, gently pulling away from Olivia's embrace. "It's not a big deal, guys. Honestly, I'm fine. It's just a bit of teasing." Amanda raised her eyebrows. "Just a bit of teasing? Sonny, they wrote 'Burn in hell, you fucking queer,' on your locker! Don't say it's not a big deal!"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tell me your secrets  
And ask me your questions  
Oh, let's go back to the start

Sonny shook his head, sighing. This had been what he was afraid of. "Look, I know you guys are worried and appreciate it. But, I'm fine, I promise." Fin shook his head. "Bullshit! You're not fine, man! You gotta tell someone about this! You can't keep letting them do this shit to you!" "I agree, it's only going to get worse." Nick said. That was his breaking point. "I said I'm fine, alright?! Just leave me the fuck alone!" Five pairs of eyes met his own. Five eyes full of concern and worry for their best friend. Seeing their worried expressions, he back peddled. "I'm sorry. I-I need to go, I'll see you guys later." With that, he turned and walked away. "Sonny! Wait!" Mike called. "Dominick! Don't go!" Olivia pleaded. It was too late, he was already gone.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Running in circles  
Coming up tails  
Heads on a science part

Sonny ran home as fast as his skinny legs could carry him. When he got there, he went straight to his room and slammed the door shut. Before he could stop himself, he began to sob. He fell to his kness, crying into his hands. "Honey? Are you okay?" His mom called from the other side of the door. "I-I'm fine, ma. Just a bad day at school." "Okay. I'll be in the kitchen making dinner if you need me. Okay, sweetie?" "Alright, ma." "I love you, Sonny." "I love you too, mom." He waited until her footsteps could no longer be heard to pull out his razor.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Nobody said it was easy  
It's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would this hard

He lifted his sleeves up and began to slash at his wrists. After a while, he began to feel dizzy. Blood was dripping down his arms and onto the carpet. The last thing he saw was his blade falling out of his hands. Then, everything went dark. On his nightstand was his cellphone, which had begun to vibrate. His friends had been trying to call him for several minutes after he passed out. When he didn't answer, they grew concerned.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Oh, take me back to the start

When they found him, it was too late. By the time the paramedics arrived, he was gone. His mother fell into his father's arms, sobbing. Fin, who never cried, was howling in misery. Nick held onto a sobbing Mike. Amanda was trying to keep Olivia from collapsing. All these people who loved Sonny were mourning him. He didn't know it but, almost the whole town was at his funeral, including Rafael. Rafael, who visited his grave everyday. "I never knew that you...you were always so reserved. Little did you know, I've been in love with since the seventh grade. God Sonny, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." What if...it didn't have to be this way?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I was just guessing  
At numbers and figures  
Pulling the puzzles apart

Rafael had spent months after Sonny's death wondering what could of been. What should've been, what would've been, if he had only said something. Would things have been different? Would Sonny still be alive right now at this very moment? Would he be with him in this room? Would he be sitting on Rafael's bed, making corny jokes? Or would he be sitting on his lap while he typed away at his computer on a term paper? There was no way of knowing. Or was there?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Questions of science  
Science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart

When he was little, Rafael's mama used to tell him that if you wished on a shooting star, your wish would come true. He never believed her. Now....If only it were true. He looked out the window, a single tear rolling down his face. "Sonny...I miss you..." As he said that, he saw it. He saw a shooting star. The Cuban boy closed his eyes as tears cascaded down his cheeks. "Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight...." He made his wish in silence. 'I wish I could start over, I wish I could go back and make things right. Please...take me back..give me a chance. A chance to at least try to save the life of a boy who left this world too soon. A boy I loved more than anything in the entire world.'  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Tell me you love me  
Come back and haunt me  
Oh, and I rush to the start

He couldn't explain it. It made no sense and yet, here he was. He was outside of Sonny's house. He had twenty minutes to stop Sonny. He knocked on the door frantically. Sonny's mother opened it. "Oh hello. Are you a friend of Sonny's?" "Yes ma'am, my name is Rafael Barba, I go to school with your son." She smiled. "Oh! Rafael! Sonny's told me so much about you. He's in his room, doing homework. Come in, come in." Rafael was confused. Sonny talked about him? How was that possible? They were never close...unless...could it be?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Running in circles  
Chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are

Rafael smiled, walking in. "Thank you, Mrs. Carisi." "Please, just call me Valera." "Okay, it's nice to meet you as well, Valera." Valera smiled. "Would you like anything to drink? I've got coffee tea, milk, Sprite, and apple cider." "Tea would be nice, thank you." "Go on up to Sonny's room. I'll call you when your tea's ready." "Okay, thank you very much." Rafael walked up to sonny's room. His heart was hampering in his chest. What if he was too late? No, there was still time. Cautiously, he knocked on the door. Once, twice, three times. He raised his hand to knock a fourth time when he heard shuffling then, then a thud. He was worried until he heard Sonny's voice. "Come in!" He didn't sound frantic, he just sounded normal.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Nobody said it was easy  
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard

Rafael opened the door and came in. He was worried about what he would see upon entering. Turned out, he and nothing to worry about. Sonny was on the floor, attempting to pick up his scattered school things. "Sonny? Are you okay?" When he saw Rafael, his eyes lit up. "Hey Rafe! Sorry about the mess, a bunch of my school things fell on the floor." "Let me help you." Rafael picked up Sonny's things and handed them to him. Their hands brushed and they both blushed. "Heh, thanks." Sonny said. Rafael didn't get it..what was going on? "Sonny? Your mother said you talk about me..why is that?" "Because we're best friends, duh." "We are?" "Yeah, or did you already forget what today is?" "Oh right, we've been friends for five years, as of today." Sonny smiled. "Yep!"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I'm going back to the start

Rafael got his wish. But it was more than that, he had been given a do over. It was like the last five years were totally different. It was as if the bullying...self harm...poof! It never happened. It was like everything Rafael wished he could of done or said, he did. It was like some type of miracle. That meant there was only thing left to do. "Hey Sonny?" "Hm? What's up Rafe?" "I need to tell you something." "What is it?" "I love you." "You what?" "I love you, Sonny. I have since the seventh grade. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just...I was scared, I guess... and I'm rambling. I'll just go."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Oh [4x]

Rafael went to get up when a hand grabbed his wrist. "No, don't go. Stay, please. I'm not mad. Rafael, I love you too. I never told you because of the same reason. I didn't want to ruin our friendship." "So...are we okay?" "We're better than okay. In fact..." Sonny leaned forward, pulling Rafael into a sweet kiss. Rafael was quick to kiss back. At that moment, Valera called from the kitchen. "Rafael! Tea's ready!" The two boys broke apart. Sonny got up, holding his hand out to Rafael. "Come on. I have a hunch my ma will come busting up here any moment. Besides, we need to tell her the good news." Rafe took Sonny's hand, smiling. "Okay." To this day, he never could figure out what happened. Wishing on shooting stars didn't mean anything. Or maybe his mama was right. Either way, he had his second chance. And this time he did things right.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I'm sorry for all the feels. Believe me, writing this has messed me up for life. I've been reading 13 Reasons Why and it might be too soon for me to be writing stuff like this. XD


End file.
